The first thing to know is that the Merry fucking Christmas shirt of Matthew’s Gospel used the Greek word magi, which does not actually mean ‘wise men’, but is a reference to the priests of the then-great Zoroastrian religion of the Persian Empire. When Matthew says they came from the east, he was alluding to the direction of Babylon and Persia. It is, of course, inconceivable that Zoroastrian priests would be in the least interested in the birth of a purported king of Judah. It is scientifically inconceivable that a star could be followed so accurately to Jerusalem and then to Bethlehem and actually stand over the very house where Jesus was. However, our author (he was anonymous and very unlikely to have been called Matthew) knew that the magi were well known for their wisdom and for their knowledge of astrology, so he knew this nativity account would be plausible.
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At that point I had a steady girl-friend, but also a Santa Grinch Christmas They Hate Us Because Ain’t Us South Carolina Gamecocks Shirt good friend Robin. I was suppose to meet my girl-friend on Christmas Eve, but around 7:00 PM my friend Robin calls me up and tells me her mom has been bummed about about Christmas and there are no decorations at their home. She asked me, “Will you go get a Christmas tree with me?” That put me in a real dilemma with my girl-friend, but sometimes you have to do the right thing…so I called my girl-friend and told her what I had to do, she was cool. My friend Robin had lost her father when she was very young, and her mother never remarried her entire life. I sort of knew why because one day while over Robin’s house, she had a box of letters that her dad had written to her mom while he was a soldier, and we read them together…very old letters, but expressed who he was.
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